Introduction
Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way experienced in the use of psychedelics. Meaning that this article is solely based on my perception of what an experience WILL be like and what I think will help me go through that journey without knowing what awaits me on the other side. However, I have been interested in the topic ever since I became curious about the effects of cannabis on the mind, which dates back to around two and a half years ago. Even before I smoked for the first time, I spent countless nights doing research about how it was going to go. Reading up on the history of its legality as well as its positive effects on the body. That led down several rabbit holes which eventually dropped me off in the world of psychedelics. Watching Youtube videos on psilocybin cubensis mushrooms and lysergic acid diethylamide expanded my mind to the world of psychoactive drugs.
Breaking the Cycle
Now, my first time smoking was very different from other people's first times. I told my friend that I thought I was ready to try it (I was treating the cannabis experience like a psychedelic). He came over and gave me his THC cartridge. The funny thing is, he told me how to hit but not how many hits to take, so I ended up inhaling about 7 deep lung hits. The THC running through my blood was enough to create one of the wildest experiences in my life. Something about cannabis that not many people understand is that when taken in high doses, it can act as a psychoactive substance. What followed was, to this day, the closest I have ever been to a psychedelic experience. It sounds silly now but that day I truly believed that different drugs would take you to different, higher, dimensions.
“Uhh, dude why are you writing about the first time you smoked? We’ve all smoked, we know how it works.” It is because, at that moment, I finally understood how different states of consciousness worked. Before that moment, I had never experienced anything other than soberness. Now, I had experienced two different states of consciousness, albeit temporarily, but it led me to believe that there was something more to the mind than I previously understood. And yet, I still had no idea about the wealth of information that awaited me.
Meditation and Leary
Two years later, I found mindfulness meditation. Once quarantine started, I finally allowed myself to have a couple of minutes to myself and my mind. I have not been doing it as often as I would like but I feel a new mental state is being nurtured. In my opinion, (and please message me if you disagree) meditation nurtures a state of mind that allows you to understand your place in the world (relationships with friends, family, co-workers) and balances that with your place within yourself (emotions, ideas, etc.) I will go more in-depth about meditation in another blog. I urge those people that are curious about the practice to start. It is something subtle at first, and you will notice the slight difference in how your mind feels. That will develop into something greater, something still unknown to myself. Meditation led me to believe that there is something else, something greater than us, within us. Fortunately, for those that do not want to be meditation masters to get a glimpse of that higher self, there exist various compounds that facilitate that mental journey.
Thanks to meditation, I again became invested in the topic of mind expansion techniques after my 2-year hiatus. This is what pushed me to finally read
“The Psychedelic Experience” by Timothy Leary. This book used the Tibetan Book of the Dead (Bardo Thodol) as more than an analogy to the psychedelic experience. Leary creates a loophole to what is described in the Bardo Thodol, circumventing the several spiritual practices necessary in order to be liberated (from the ego). The book was written in an attempt to guide a user beyond the recreational and into the spiritual awakening. I truly believe that there is some information in that book that is essential to someone who is not well versed in how deep a psychedelic journey can take you. I have my personal disagreements with some things the book mentions though. For example, Timothy Leary believes that we should kill the ego, destroy it, he says. But in a well-written introduction by Daniel Pinchbeck, it is mentioned that this might be a primitive idea, instead, the voyager should strive to be free from the ego. I think the Ego is what makes us human. and thus, getting rid of it would be impossible, and trying would be counterproductive to your spiritual journey. But honestly, it just depends on what your perception of “ego death” is.
Final Preparation
As you can probably guess, I deem meditation and Leary’s book invaluable to my preparedness. But the final thing that bridged the link between meditation and “The Psychedelic Experience” was Brian Weiss’ past-life regression session. It is strange because I do not believe in past lives so this piece of advice will resonate better with non-believers. I recently listened to this 40-minute video because I thought the experience might be
interesting. I went into it obviously doubtful as that is my nature ( I would consider myself a man of science) and came out of it pleasantly surprised. Brian Weiss has a very important message to those who listen to the video. Do not rationalize what is happening until the experience is over whether you believe in what you are seeing or not. And I think that if you have been meditating and you participate in this session, you will be able to reach a laser focus on what you are experiencing. During the session, I saw myself as a black man in my past life. I saw my wife and my marriage as well as my final moments. And I saw it in detail as well. It truly felt like I was remembering a forgotten and unlocked memory. I think that this is analogous to what someone should do during a psychedelic experience. You need to understand that what you are seeing is a materialization of your subconscious and conscious, therefore there is no need to freak out. This exact same concept is explored in-depth in Leary’s book, yet when I was reading it was hard to grasp the idea of “this isn’t real but accept it and experience it as if it were.”
Expectations
I consider myself to be very meticulous about the research I did, and I believe that that research created certain expectations for my first trip, expectations that range from “nothing is going to happen and I'm going to be the same person I was before and have the same ideas I have now” to “I’m going to become a God, that’s it. I’ll reach enlightenment and I will finally understand the meaning of life.” That isn’t necessarily true, but I do think that I’ll understand something about our minds that I didn’t before. That is why I want to trip. To understand.
My Belief
I am sharing this because unlike many spiritual people, I do not believe in the afterlife or gods or anything that cannot be explained by science. Instead, I believe that we can reach enlightenment while we are alive through meditation, and when we do, that will be our afterlife, our higher being. But that being will be ourselves. I am not really expecting to be enlightened but I believe in the power that our mind grants us. In fact, I believe that everything I am talking about right now will in the future be understood, the union between science and what is now spirituality will finally be unlocked and will be one.